Where do the decisions we
make come from? Why do we keep making the same mistakes over, and over again?
Why can’t I get ahead? These are all questions we all ask ourselves in any conversation.
It doesn’t matter if it is love, personal, finances. We have all asked these
questions at one point over another. Having a free mind is a gift and a curse because
with that free mind you also could second guess yourself. We have
inherited a lot of bad thought processes. We will pick a few and see how they’re
relevant to our everyday thinking patterns.
We all have bad thinking habits, and we inherited these habits from the people
closest to us. Our teachers, parents, religious instructors, and families have
all contributed in one way or another to how we think.
We have been taught to
think in the negative aspect of the things we want. We’re told personal
wealth is bad. We’re told that people with money are somehow at fault for why
we don’t have money.
We’re taught to blow situations out of control. And somehow,
we have this magic formula to tell the future, we create moments of grandeur in
our minds and when these made up scenarios don’t work we just simply give up.
When we think about focusing on ourselves we start feeling guilty, like it’s a
a problem to be successful.
Before, you can start any new venture especially
self-improvement. You must take the time to work on the negative thought
processes that have, us second-guessing ourselves, having self-doubt, or just
no motivation to do things. These thought process can be reversed and if we can
admit there is a problem. Then we have taken the first step in living out our
We have a process that if
were not perfect then we’ve failed, but that is far from the truth, how many
Have people failed multiple times before they made It? We adopt this thinking
to give us a reason not to be persistent.
We use this as an excuse to quit. The
All or nothing thinking makes your mistakes more relevant then what they really
are. We prepare unrealistic expectations in our head and when we don’t meet
these goals we just give up.
We forget about the process to get where we need
to be. We forget that nothing is perfect. So, we force ourselves to believe
that if you fail, then it’s just not worth it. This process to fix this a
gradual process you must be OK with making mistakes.
Have an end game in mind
and give your self-room to make mistakes. Don’t fear mistakes their part of
life. Nothing is all or nothing. Everything has room for improvement;
don’t stress about perfection it’s unrealistic. Instead, we should focus on not
repeating the same mistakes.
Focusing on the Negative
We’ve all been taught
“Murphy’s Law” every time something is going right, then obviously
something must go wrong. Another saying, what goes up, must come down, every
time I take one step forward I take two steps back. And the most used,
“Why does everything always happen to me.”
This is Negative focusing, how
did you take two steps back? When you just ran into a problem? Many of us don’t
have a plan to fix problems. And our first resource is to put an imaginary
voodoo on the problem. We give our negative thoughts life, because we don’t fix
the problem, or get to the core, that these negative conflicts come from.
so focused on things we can fix because it catches us off guard. We panic.
That’s life nothing mystical, no curse. OK, you short on a bill, you can’t pay
a bill, whatever life throws at us we instantly forget about all our
accomplishments, all the hard times we’ve already pulled thru. And focus on a
problem that can be solved, but because we have trained our minds to perceive
any hiccup as a damnation. When you have a plan to deal with problems, there’s
no worry about it.
Because you have created a solution to solve it before it
occurs. When you’re thinking about being an entrepreneur, problems will happen,
it won’t be easy starting off, you must realize this to be successful.
“Problems are just situations that haven’t been solved” Don’t let
negative situations stop you from enjoying all the small accomplishments you
There are a lot of ways self-Image
is not real but just a social study. We hear it, we see it, we believe it.
A negative self-image is how you wish you were, based on what you perceive yourself
to be, compared to what you Think you should be. Just be you.
If, you feel like
status is the big house, the big car. You daydream about it, but every time
you come out that dream and your reality is you’re in a decent car making
payments, in a small house. You train your mind to live in that fantasy world because
you feel stuck.
You know what you want, but your content you’ve created
a negative image in your mind that your fantasy is too hard. So, you go thru
your life imagining.
“Beauty is in the
eye of the beholder” I want you to say this every day, my beauty is not
based on the opinion of what someone else’s expectation of beauty is. We’re
shown so many images, so many visuals of someone else s perception of what
We try to be someone we’re not. It is okay to admire someone for
being WHO they are. But when you start doubting yourself because you’re not
them. You have lost control of reality.
When you can shed the expectations of
others and just live in your atmosphere. You will accomplish a lot because you
are living to be you and not by the false expectations you perceive you should
“My temper is
0-60”, “I made a mistake” the whole project will fail, “I
want to be different” but because of my mistakes “I can never live
them down” “I’m a product of my environment”.
We take the
smallest situations and blow them completely out of proportion. In our quest to
be right always. We don’t take the first step of asking a simple question. What
am I gaining out of this? Every problem isn’t a battle when you have a plan to
deal with that situation.
We catastrophize things for sympathy we blow things
up to fit in with all the negative we’re always surrounded in. Negative is just
as important as Positive, Our Negative situations give us so much more because
it teaches you a valuable lesson. How not to make the same mistakes. Remember
when things hit the proverbial fan.
Stop, Access the situation, and make a
strategic move. To eliminate catastrophizing you must take emotion out of the
decision-making process, having a strong self-image and a plan for problems. In
business, you must be realistic about each move. Just as in life. This is chess
, not checkers. “Calm down” Is it really that serious?
We look for approval, we
want people to understand what we are going thru. When they don’t we get defensive,
the feeling like you’re not listening. We need people to feel what we feel.
Instead of feeling our own desires or satisfying our own thoughts. We are
willing to allow the opinion of others to dictate our actions and our thoughts.
Our need for acceptance can be positive or a negative. People are natural born
followers, for most of the population it’s easy to be told what to feel. People
who have their own opinions are normally mocked. This fear of being outside of
the norm can cripple the strongest person because they fear not being liked.
When you can put yourself in a position that your best interest isn’t based off
the opinion of the many or the few, and you take a stance, that your opinion,
your actions are based off your what you feel your best interest is. No one
else’s opinion will matter.
You will be able to move freely because you’re
making decisions based on your best interest. In life, you will have people
whom you love that will not support you not because they want you to fail but because
their scared to make the gains you are. That’s OK, let them be who they are.
Learn how to say NO and not feel bad.
Improving your actions
When you believe that
your dreams are attainable, and no matter what people say, or what you go thru.
If you believe it will happen. It will. You must take the all the bad things
that ever have happened to you and first, remember it’s the past and it can’t
When those negative thoughts enter your mind instead of dwelling
on the hurt find the positive. Ask yourself “what did I learn” how
can I prevent this from happening again. Your past can’t dictate your future.
Your destiny isn’t based on the situation you grew up in.
Your situation isn’t
based on your friends. Your situation is based on the need to satisfy whatever
it is that satisfies you. You’re an individual and once you understand your
happiness is based on the circumstances you allow yourself to go thru.
want to be successful you will have to step out of your comfort zone, and out
of the norms or boxes, society tries to put you in. don’t be scared to be an
individual take the first step to being mentally and financially free.